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 Funny and or Stupid stuff.

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josh
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Post Count : 219
Age : 27
Location : hell
Registration date : 2009-02-24

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Name: Will
Race: Complicated
Class: Pilot

PostSubject: Funny and or Stupid stuff.   Thu Apr 02, 2009 9:40 am

found something funny or stupid? Post it here.


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

WALL ST VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image
called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive
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Joel
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Name: Nich Loki
Race: Human
Class: Gun Cleric

PostSubject: Re: Funny and or Stupid stuff.   Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:04 am

funny video for any Left 4 Dead fans



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josh
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Post Count : 219
Age : 27
Location : hell
Registration date : 2009-02-24

Character Bio List
Name: Will
Race: Complicated
Class: Pilot

PostSubject: Re: Funny and or Stupid stuff.   Fri May 22, 2009 1:26 pm

> Interesting
> when you break the word "assassin" down into
> syllables. ass -ass-
> in
> Sorta gives it
> a different meaning, doesn't
> it?
>
>
> Job
> at the FBI
>
> The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
>
> After all the background checks, interviews
> And testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
>
> Two men and a woman.
>
> For the final test, the FBI agents took one of
> The men to a large metal door and handed
> Him a gun.
> 'We must know that you will follow your
> Instructions no matter what the circumstances.
> Inside the room you will find your wife sitting
> In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'
> The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could
> Never shoot my wife.'
> The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man
> For this job. Take your wife and go home.'
> The second man was given the same instructions.
> He took the gun and went into the room. All was
> Quiet for a bout 5 minutes.
> The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,
> But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You
> don't Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
>
> Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the
> Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
> Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one
> After another. They heard screaming, crashing,
> Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was
> Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
> Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
>
> 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.
> 'I had to Beat him to death with the chair.'
>
> MORAL:
>
> Women are crazy. Don't mess with
> them
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